So it's been a couple weeks since we moved to "The Valley". The first couple morning commutes were rough, I must admit. I think that a person can only prepare themselves so much for sitting in dead stopped traffic for an hour+ with no indication on how long you will be sitting there. Until you actually make the drive, you just can't comprehend it.
However, in the two weeks that I have been living over the hill, I have completely converted! Call me a Valley Girl! I know it's probably too soon for me to make such a blanket statement, but as intense as the driving situation and the heat may be up there, every night when I drive home and come up over the mountain, I feel this sigh of relief come over me. The air feels fresher, the trees are bigger and dare I say the people are happier? There is a sense of calm I feel living just a bit removed from such a big city. Not to mention, the drive is not exactly ALL that terrible.
This morning I took Topanga Canyon to work. I spent the first 30 minutes of my drive weaving through a massive mountain range and peering over giant cliffs that resemble something out of Jurassic Park. At the end of my windy journey I arrived head on with the Pacific Ocean. The next 20 minutes of my journey was spent driving from Malibu to Santa Monica along the Pacific Coast Highway between the Mountains and the Ocean. Next I turned onto the 10 Freeway and after minutes saw an expansive view of all of Los Angeles. I could see Century City all the way to the Hollywood Hills in the background, including what may have been a glimpse of the Hollywood sign. And then I arrived at work only one short hour later. Now that is not a bad drive for a morning commute. Most people who would visit LA would take that drive just to experience it and I am fortunate enough to take that drive every day.
So if driving from the Valley can be such a religious experience, then why do so many detest the thought of moving even one mile out of "Los Angeles". I must admit, for four years I myself didn't even consider the move because of the "painful commutes", "scorching heat" and distance from precious Los Angeles. Then I actually started to explore the Valley. I just told you what I learned about the commute. In terms of the heat; it's not so bad. It's not unbearable heat. It's just hot. But guess what...it should be hot, this is California! How many summers do I have to experience that are just lukewarm. That's not summer. And I'm sorry, you haven't experienced summer till you have done a summer on the East Coast. California doesn't have humidity so it's not a hot where you can't breathe. It's just a nice warmth. Personally I love it! And this morning when I walked outside, it wasn't hot at all, rather it was crisp and cool and fall was in the air. As a girl from Michigan, I personally miss the fall weather badly. Is there something so wrong about experiencing a little bit of the seasons? I think Los Angeles people become bland because they don't experience seasons. Without change, you just walk through life like a zombie. Mix it up!
Furthermore, even though it may take me a little longer to get home, when I'm there everything is so convenient that I can do all my errands and get home early enough to spend some time with my family. In the end isn't that what we resent about a long commute in the first place? It's the delay from getting home. But what is the point of being closer to home if you have to spend all night sitting in Los Angeles traffic just to get to the mall or the grocery store? Who wants to drive around in circles looking for parking at 8pm because you have to run into Nordstrom to get mascara to go to work in the morning. It's ridiculous!
Big city life can be attractive and exciting. There is definitely a feeling of awe living in the thick of a big beautiful city where you never know what's around the corner. But at a certain point, sometimes you have to take a hard look at what your life is really like in that city and what you are sacrificing to be there. I don't just mean that if you move a half hour out you can upgrade your home by 1000sq ft. But what is your routine like? Personally, I don't go out after work. I want to get errands done, go home, make dinner, clean up, watch some TV and go to bed. Now I feel like I can actually do that and the enjoy the city on weekends.
Sure, for a price there are certain conveniences that come along with living in a big city. If you want, you can have your laundry done, house cleaned, food prepared, car washed and waiting for you, dog walked...but how modern is that style of living? (and can you really not have that everywhere now) Twenty years ago, if you weren't a physical presence in a specific location then you couldn't take advantage of it's resources. However, today, you just need a computer. Take Etsy for example. I have a new shop and I have made a few sales. My first sale was to a woman in Australia. (well my first sale was to my mom, but humor me!) My most recent sale was to a woman in Georgia. If it were 1991 these two women could go a lifetime without ever shopping in the same location simply because of logistics. Now, there are no limits.
So if we now have the resources to experience whatever we want, then isn't where you live more an issue of comfort than convenience? If you like to cook, you need a proper kitchen to do so. If you are crafty like me, then you need a space to house the tools, the materials, and the sewing machine so that they are accessible to you. Modern living should mean doing what makes sense for you and not what seems popular or trendy.
I'm sure there will be a moment in my commute tonight where I scream inside my car out of pure traffic frustration, but then I will come over that hill and see all the lights of my new city resting inside the valley between the mountain ranges and I will know that I am home!
Happy Homing!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The Modern Feminist
When I think of a feminist I think about a person who is devoted to proving that women are equal if not better than men and can do anything they want. I believe that this is true. Yes, women are absolutely equal to men. I was never even raised to question that. And yes, women can do anything and have anything we want. But what makes me question if I'm a feminist is that sometimes I question why we want to do EVERYTHING?
I never thought about not working when I was in school. The idea never even crossed my mind that maybe I would not work some day and stay home and raise a family. I thought that I would just work so hard that I would be financially able to have full time care for my kids, make my own hours and I would be able to enjoy my career and a home life. This was the dream that I lived on. Just keep pushing yourself to accomplish everything you can and the rest will fall into place. The idea of raising a family seemed to be so far down the path that it wasn't something to think about at the present time. Even now, I'm married, without a child and there is still only so much that I am able to plan. At some point you just have to let things happen.
But what I do know, is that because our economy is so accustomed to women working, I don't have the option of not. In today's modern world, two incomes are necessary to support a household. Our economy has become so inflated that we can't survive on just one income. Feminism has turned us from being women who CAN work to women to HAVE to work. Now, I know that this rule does not apply to everyone. There are plenty of families in this world that are fortunate enough to survive on one income. Additionally, there are many families that choose to make certain sacrifices in order to keep one parent at home, raising a family.
But I do believe that the majority of the women my age in this country are like me. We went to college, achieved our educational goals, maybe even pursued a graduate degree and have been working and doing what we always dreamed! Right? Somehow though, I don't believe this is what we always dreamed. Maybe I'm just a bitter lawyer, but in pursuing my dream I accumulated such a degree of student debt that it seems impossible for me to stay at home. Even after scholarships, in achieving my dreams I had no choice but to put myself in a financial marriage to lenders before I even had a degree to be able to pay back that debt.
What's interesting, is with the money that will go to paying my student loans each month, I could hire a full time nanny to take care of my non-existent children. Even without my student loans in the picture, the amount of daycare that I will have to pay for to cover my 11+ hour work day will be such a hit to my salary that I might as well stay at home and be a part time dog walker to bring in some extra cash (dog walker has been my secret dream for years now).
At the end of the day, two working parents is a financial pickle. Someone has to take care of your kids and most likely if it's not you, you are going to pay for it. If one person stays home then there might not be enough money coming into the home to survive on, however, if you are both at work, how much daycare is required to cover your work hours? What are you actually bringing home at the end of the year?
The only way it becomes worth it is if you really love your job. Is the dream really what you wanted? You have to go to work every day and love what you are doing. For most of us women who have dreamed of what we could do in our careers, staying at home raising a family is not going to be enough. But if there is so much anxiety and torture involved in your day to day work life then is it really worth it? Or are you in a situation where you have to pay your dues for a few years until you can call your own shots and have the financial freedom to make a schedule that works for you and your family.
I couldn't have the career I do without the education I have received, and debt that came along with that. I also couldn't have the opportunity of having a successful career in the years to come beyond what my children will require for in terms of daily care. But I do question what I will have to give up for those opportunities. Will I be a Mom that is never home? Will I miss all the amazing firsts my kids are going to have? First step? First word? OR, in today's world maybe we really can have it all? Maybe there will be someone at home, taking pictures and video of all those amazing moments so I won't really miss them. Will that be enough? Too optimistic? Maybe. But I might not have another choice, huh?
Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis' recordings were just released a couple weeks ago revealing all her thoughts and opinions just after JFK's assassination. She was an interesting dichotomy of a modern yet traditional woman. She was an educated debutante who had a career as a journalist prior to meeting JFK. She gave up her career during her marriage but then became the First Lady of the United States at the age of 31 with two very young children. She had the image of a traditional housewife and mother, yet she was the First Lady which leaves little time to be a normal mother. In the very early years of her children's lives she missed many moments, however, the legacy she was able to leave to them as an iconic woman who grew to be even more inspirational in the many lives she lived after being the first lady transcends the influence she was able to have directly with her children.
There has been criticism of some of the opinions, or lack thereof, that Jackie expressed in her recordings, saying that she wasn't really a modern woman and that some of what she said showed her to be an anti-feminist. Others say that her opinions were just indicative of a different time and way of thinking. I think that Jackie was a true modern domestic before her time. She was devoted to her husband and children and wanted so badly to be with them. She had the difficult task of balancing a commitment to her family with the amazing opportunities she had as a first lady, forward-thinking woman and cultural icon. She knew she had the opportunity to influence the world and the drive to do so but concurrently did not want to sacrifice her time with her children. Yet, even after both of her husbands passed and she had enough money to be comfortable for the rest of her life, she pursued a career that she was passionate about.
I guess in the end opportunity is everything. We fight for the opportunity to pursue our dreams and lead a fulfilling life regardless of what that might be. Although I still think that sometimes it would be nice to not have to do it all...
I never thought about not working when I was in school. The idea never even crossed my mind that maybe I would not work some day and stay home and raise a family. I thought that I would just work so hard that I would be financially able to have full time care for my kids, make my own hours and I would be able to enjoy my career and a home life. This was the dream that I lived on. Just keep pushing yourself to accomplish everything you can and the rest will fall into place. The idea of raising a family seemed to be so far down the path that it wasn't something to think about at the present time. Even now, I'm married, without a child and there is still only so much that I am able to plan. At some point you just have to let things happen.
But what I do know, is that because our economy is so accustomed to women working, I don't have the option of not. In today's modern world, two incomes are necessary to support a household. Our economy has become so inflated that we can't survive on just one income. Feminism has turned us from being women who CAN work to women to HAVE to work. Now, I know that this rule does not apply to everyone. There are plenty of families in this world that are fortunate enough to survive on one income. Additionally, there are many families that choose to make certain sacrifices in order to keep one parent at home, raising a family.
But I do believe that the majority of the women my age in this country are like me. We went to college, achieved our educational goals, maybe even pursued a graduate degree and have been working and doing what we always dreamed! Right? Somehow though, I don't believe this is what we always dreamed. Maybe I'm just a bitter lawyer, but in pursuing my dream I accumulated such a degree of student debt that it seems impossible for me to stay at home. Even after scholarships, in achieving my dreams I had no choice but to put myself in a financial marriage to lenders before I even had a degree to be able to pay back that debt.
What's interesting, is with the money that will go to paying my student loans each month, I could hire a full time nanny to take care of my non-existent children. Even without my student loans in the picture, the amount of daycare that I will have to pay for to cover my 11+ hour work day will be such a hit to my salary that I might as well stay at home and be a part time dog walker to bring in some extra cash (dog walker has been my secret dream for years now).
At the end of the day, two working parents is a financial pickle. Someone has to take care of your kids and most likely if it's not you, you are going to pay for it. If one person stays home then there might not be enough money coming into the home to survive on, however, if you are both at work, how much daycare is required to cover your work hours? What are you actually bringing home at the end of the year?
The only way it becomes worth it is if you really love your job. Is the dream really what you wanted? You have to go to work every day and love what you are doing. For most of us women who have dreamed of what we could do in our careers, staying at home raising a family is not going to be enough. But if there is so much anxiety and torture involved in your day to day work life then is it really worth it? Or are you in a situation where you have to pay your dues for a few years until you can call your own shots and have the financial freedom to make a schedule that works for you and your family.
I couldn't have the career I do without the education I have received, and debt that came along with that. I also couldn't have the opportunity of having a successful career in the years to come beyond what my children will require for in terms of daily care. But I do question what I will have to give up for those opportunities. Will I be a Mom that is never home? Will I miss all the amazing firsts my kids are going to have? First step? First word? OR, in today's world maybe we really can have it all? Maybe there will be someone at home, taking pictures and video of all those amazing moments so I won't really miss them. Will that be enough? Too optimistic? Maybe. But I might not have another choice, huh?
Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis' recordings were just released a couple weeks ago revealing all her thoughts and opinions just after JFK's assassination. She was an interesting dichotomy of a modern yet traditional woman. She was an educated debutante who had a career as a journalist prior to meeting JFK. She gave up her career during her marriage but then became the First Lady of the United States at the age of 31 with two very young children. She had the image of a traditional housewife and mother, yet she was the First Lady which leaves little time to be a normal mother. In the very early years of her children's lives she missed many moments, however, the legacy she was able to leave to them as an iconic woman who grew to be even more inspirational in the many lives she lived after being the first lady transcends the influence she was able to have directly with her children.
There has been criticism of some of the opinions, or lack thereof, that Jackie expressed in her recordings, saying that she wasn't really a modern woman and that some of what she said showed her to be an anti-feminist. Others say that her opinions were just indicative of a different time and way of thinking. I think that Jackie was a true modern domestic before her time. She was devoted to her husband and children and wanted so badly to be with them. She had the difficult task of balancing a commitment to her family with the amazing opportunities she had as a first lady, forward-thinking woman and cultural icon. She knew she had the opportunity to influence the world and the drive to do so but concurrently did not want to sacrifice her time with her children. Yet, even after both of her husbands passed and she had enough money to be comfortable for the rest of her life, she pursued a career that she was passionate about.
I guess in the end opportunity is everything. We fight for the opportunity to pursue our dreams and lead a fulfilling life regardless of what that might be. Although I still think that sometimes it would be nice to not have to do it all...
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I'm back!
So I will admit, I have fallen victim to the main problem behind all failed blogs...not posting on a regular basis! I don't even want to think about how long it has been since I have posted here. Unacceptable! However, it's not entirely my fault. In true modern domestic fashion, I have been so busy that I haven't be able to spend time on the things I love. The past six months or so have been crazy! I got a new job, entertained several house guests and finally finished decorating my apartment, all just in time to buy a new house! That's right...we bought a house and are moving! What perfect time to start up the old blog again! Since I will basically have to re-orgainze, re-decorate and re-do my entire life, it seems appropriate that I document the journey. Packing is seriously underway and the movers have been booked, so stay tuned!!!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
An old classic!
When I think of my parent's dining room the first imagine that comes to mind is the silver cabinet. The house I grew up in was an old 1930's home and the dining room still has the original built in corner china cabinet. You don't see many of them anymore, definitely not in LA, but they are one of my favorite old things. My mother filled her cabinet with all of her silver trays and serving ware. The silver only really came out for special occasions so therefore, it always made me think how special it was.
When I was registering for my wedding I loaded up on every piece of serving ware I could find. Crystal and China galore! However, it was extremely difficult to find any fine silver. I soon realized that they really don't make the ornate silver pieces like they used to. It broke my heart a little but I accepted the reality.
Shortly after my wedding I discovered a thrift store by my house. I had always driven by and I could tell from the window that shockingly, there were some nice pieces...not just crap! One day I decided to go in. Upon entering, I found rows of tables with vintage glassware and china and serving pieces. I was in heaven! As a new wife I had embraced my domestic self to the fullest (maybe a little too full), and stocked my home with every piece of cookware, utensil and serving ware imaginable. I was prepared to cook for and serve an army. I could have a party for 12 and each person would be able to have any cocktail they wanted, in the proper glass and change their drink each hour. Needless to say, I did not need to be shopping for any more pieces in a thrift store. However, what I found during my magical thrift experience was that I was missing out on this whole world of vintage pieces. Everything I had at home were brand new shiny out of the box presents ranging from Waterford to Crate and Barrel. But this was a different world. There were blue glass dishes, tall water pitchers from the 1960's, crystal candy dishes, vintage Waterford bar ware....and then I saw it.... a round footed silver ornate tray. It was completely black and looked like it hadn't been polished in a decade, but it was beautiful. It was a heavy substantial piece. The feet were in perfect condition, the border around the tray was extremely detailed, and I could tell on the back that the piece had been signed even though with all the tarnish I couldn't tell by who or what. Then I looked at the price tag....$6. OH MY GOD. There was no turning back. I bought that tray immediately, got some silver polish ($3) on the way home, and got to work.
Within moments of polishing the tray, all of the tarnish washed away and it started to sparkle. My world was rocked. Now I know most people aren't going to have a deeply religious experience over a silver tray. I do realize I'm in the extreme minority, but I think there really is something to that moment of finding a hidden treasure, working with it, and making it something beautiful that can be part of your life. It's the same basic principal that an achievement will always mean more when it is truly worked for.
Now at this point you are probably thinking "She has made me read this entire story about finding a silver tray and I still don't know what to do with it!!!" Well honestly, they are great for all kinds of uses. Most commonly I use the trays to protect my wood furniture from getting wet when I want to set a vase or bowl carrying water directly on the surface. It adds a little sparkle and some more dimension and it's useful! Another thing I like to do when I'm entertaining is to place glasses on it or something that is going to be poured (again, helpful to project furniture). I think they are great for making a station. It shows your guests what you are intending them to use.
Another great way to use them is to dress up your normal every day life. Using a tray for a Sunday morning breakfast makes the start to the day much more luxurious even if you are just having coffee and some fruit in your PJs while watching TV. The uses are endless! When I'm not using them for functional purposes I like to store my trays in a place where they can be displayed. They are a great space filler over or inside cabinets. You can use plate stands to prop them up as a nice backdrop or just keep them out on a dresser. They can even be a great mail station. After all, we are modern domestics and it's important that we find multiple functional uses for everything we have!
So let's recap....
Silver trays are hard to find,
Silver trays are one of a kind,
functional use for everyday,
lots of sparkle, little to pay!
Happy Homing
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A simple little window fix
I genuinely detest apartment blinds. I believe they are the scum of the earth and I do everything I can to avoid living with them. When I walk into my home the last thing I want to look at are apartment blinds. I feel like they are talking to me when I walk in the door. "Hello, I am your apartment blinds. I am reminding you that you do not own this place, you are merely a visitor. Clank Clank Clank Swish Swish....Crash!" I HATE THEM!
So...instead of making my life miserable looking at apartment blinds everyday, I bought myself a screw driver and took those babies down! Now I know to most apartment owners this seems like a huge inconvenience and you never know where to put the old blinds and then you have to go buy new ones. But I'm telling you, it makes a huge difference in your day to day enjoyment of your home. Put the blinds under the bed or behind the TV stand or tucked away on the floor in a closet. Make it work. Drapery is not very expensive and you can find what you are looking for at all different price points. Bed Bath and Beyond has a great selection of window treatments and you can use up some of those 20% off coupons that you get in the mail constantly! (and by the way, in case you all didn't know this - those coupons never expire!).
Most of the drapery in my home I have purchase off the rack with little customization other than my own creativity. However, this weekend I decided to take on a little project for my hideous bathroom window. It's a small window and I need it to still be functional but it just ruins the entire feel of the bathroom when it's bare. So I did a little sewing project.
Now, I know that most people (especially in apartments) don't have sewing machines. I highly recommend that you get one! Mine was a gift from my mom. But you can get them fairly cheap at places like Costco, Jo Ann Fabrics and even occasionally Tuesday Mornings. Even if you don't know how to sew now, it's OK. I hadn't sewn since the 7th grade and I just retaught myself how. It's really not that difficult. It just takes a little patience and practice and you'll be on your way to sewing whatever you like. Trust me, it's a wonderful investment!
Back to the project- All I wanted for my window was a small valence that would stay in place when the window was open and the breeze came through, but that would add a little bit of subtle color. I decided that instead of using a curtain rod, Velcro would hold my valance in place and I wouldn't even have to break out any tools to hang a curtain rod on the wall (it was cheaper too!)
1. I picked out some fabric at my local fabric store (F and S fabrics on Olympic in LA is amazing!) and cut the fabric a couple inches larger than my window. Measure twice, cut once!
2. Then I started sewing. I first hemmed my fabric on all four sides (about 2 inches in).
3. Next I cut out some black lining (the fabric was somewhat translucent in the sunlight and didn't show off how pretty the pattern was so black lining worked best). I sewed the lining on to the valence making sure to tuck the ends of the lining in for a nice hem.
4. Next I cut out my Velcro and sewed the Velcro onto the back edges of the three sides of the valence that were going to touch my wall. (When I purchased my Velcro I bought one set of sew on Velcro and one set of sticky Velcro which would adhere to the wall. Just make sure that you buy opposites so the Velcro will actually stick to each other).
5. To finish off the project I connected my Velcro on to the valance before I placed the Velcro on the wall. This way I could make sure that the Velcro lined up with each other. Just peel off the back of the sticky Velcro, stick it on, and your done!
I did this entire project on a Sunday morning while drinking my coffee, watching a movie and talking with my husband and it only cost $20. I can't tell you the difference that it has made to the whole room. It softens the window and adds just the splash of color I needed. When I wake up in the morning and walk into the bathroom it makes me happy that not only do I have a beautiful custom window treatment but that I made it myself! Until next time...
Happy Homing!
I did this entire project on a Sunday morning while drinking my coffee, watching a movie and talking with my husband and it only cost $20. I can't tell you the difference that it has made to the whole room. It softens the window and adds just the splash of color I needed. When I wake up in the morning and walk into the bathroom it makes me happy that not only do I have a beautiful custom window treatment but that I made it myself! Until next time...
Happy Homing!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Hello! I'm here!
Well hello out there! Welcome to my very first post of my very first blog. I must say, I'm very glad that you are here to visit! Now that you are here you are probably asking yourself WHY you are here. Well let me explain...
I am a modern domestic. I work at a desk in an office 11 hours a day pursuing my dream career in one of the biggest cities in the United States. I live in an apartment paying way too much rent making way too little money. I am living the modern girl's dream! However, I am as domestic as they come. I decorate, I sew, I clean, I cook...I try to have it all!
I was raised in the midwest with old fashioned ideals of how to prepare a home. My mother (the original modern domestic) was a career woman when most mom's were still staying at home doing all things domestic. However, she was able to manage a career and a home and do it all and beautifully! She taught me how to make a home, clean it, nuture it, care for it, and enjoy living in it.
What makes a modern domestic special is that no matter how little time we have, we have a undying desire to live a certain way, eat a certain way and entertain a certain way. A modern domestic doesn't wait to live the way she wants, rather she lives that way everyday! Regardless of money or time, there is no reason that you can't live in a beautiful home, eating great food and enjoying today rather than waiting for tomorrow.
I can't wait to share all my ideas and tricks with you for making your home a special place where you can continue your journey as a modern domestic!
Happy Homing!
I am a modern domestic. I work at a desk in an office 11 hours a day pursuing my dream career in one of the biggest cities in the United States. I live in an apartment paying way too much rent making way too little money. I am living the modern girl's dream! However, I am as domestic as they come. I decorate, I sew, I clean, I cook...I try to have it all!
I was raised in the midwest with old fashioned ideals of how to prepare a home. My mother (the original modern domestic) was a career woman when most mom's were still staying at home doing all things domestic. However, she was able to manage a career and a home and do it all and beautifully! She taught me how to make a home, clean it, nuture it, care for it, and enjoy living in it.
What makes a modern domestic special is that no matter how little time we have, we have a undying desire to live a certain way, eat a certain way and entertain a certain way. A modern domestic doesn't wait to live the way she wants, rather she lives that way everyday! Regardless of money or time, there is no reason that you can't live in a beautiful home, eating great food and enjoying today rather than waiting for tomorrow.
I can't wait to share all my ideas and tricks with you for making your home a special place where you can continue your journey as a modern domestic!
Happy Homing!
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